**Trigger warning**
Domestic violence.
A woman who had no idea of Esther’s past once said, “I don’t even know how women get into abusive relationships.”
Looking back, I’m sure a lot of us, even the ones who have been through it, ponder the same thing. The truth is, it’s pretty easy. It starts with a little love or something that looks like it. Then come the subtle verbal abuses disguised as caring criticisms. It’s a slow progression, unnoticeable. And since any relationship is a team of two, nobody, even those close to you knows anything about what’s happening behind closed doors.
Esther recalls the slow progression of her relationship with her husband and child’s father.
Esther and her Marine husband, we’ll call him Ryan, met through a guy her sister was dating. They were married for 7 years before they decided to part ways. In the 7 years they were together Ryan’s abuse went from verbal to physical. Around the time she got pregnant, Ryan’s physical abuse started getting worse. At this time, they were stationed in Japan and her neighbors ended up calling the Military PD to check in on her. The next day she was pulled into Ryan’s command’s office where she was scolded for having gotten the MPDs involved rather than just his command. So already, she’s isolated in a country far away from own with no support, an abusive husband, and a system that doesn’t care for her or her child, just her husband’s reputation.
Toward the end of their relationship, he once said, “What do you think? I’m going to shoot you? If you think I’m going to shoot you, we probably shouldn’t be together.” This is was the end for her. Ryan was beginning the process of getting out the military and started thinking about where he would be moving their family and when he considered Arizona and told Esther, it was then that Esther knew she wasn’t going to be going with him.
Her plan was to protect her child at all cost and leave the abusive relationship that she felt would eventually lead to her untimely death.
When she looks back at it, Esther is grateful for her decision.
